join the club.

by Sian Siviter

Smoke machines, bright flashing lights, thumping music, warm air, drink…It’s a suffocating, noisy, addictive thrill that comes from flooding your blood stream with alcohol and dancing for hours. Girls don’t get arrested for indecent exposure, suddenly it doesn’t matter how cold it is outside, you’re wearing less than you’re comfortable with and soon will be slut-dropping to the ground and rolling your hips in a way you didn’t think possible. Perhaps that’s why the next part happens, but hey! Johnny Castle didn’t have to put up with this crap when he was busting the moves out. 


What happens to a man as soon as he is disguised in a dark and smokey club? They become instantly creepy – staring like a dog watching a bitch in season. Fair enough, it can be hot when you know and like the guy, but it’s weird when you don’t. Look, we may be wearing a dress that hints at hidden jewels beneath the wrapping, and we may dance with confidence because frankly those last couple of bottles of whatever have hit home, but if we wanted you, we would come and get you! As it is, “No, sorry, I’m not interested … Again, thank you, but no … I have a boyfriend … I have a girlfriend? … What do I have to say to get you to back away … Go Away! … Oh Christ, another one, who’s this tool?”

Begging the D.J to play Bon Jovi and while you’re lost in the song, catching a glimpse of some girl in a killer dress through the mirror and thinking ‘damn! I wish I had a waist like that’ before your eyes travel up and you see yourself tipsily disorientated with glazed eyes and red lips, the lights are doing something here, no wonder these morons are swarming like flies, especially with your super hot friend next to you hammering out the same lyrics and the same moves you know so well. Finally the feet start to ache and your mind is clearing, the haze lifting, at least for me. I sober up generally after 1 O’clock, and start downing pure fresh water to flush out my blood stream. I am ready for food and home by 3 and bed never feels so good as when it’s that late and your room becomes hangover heaven 🙂 

So clubbing is fun, drinking is fun, and most of those grabbing hands are just morons who think they can cop a feel in the dark but on a serious note, predators do exist, and danger is very real. When you’re out on the town, you might think that you’re safe with friends, and to some degree this is true. But really what you should be thinking is: Only I can take care of myself, you know yourself better than anyone, you know your limits when others don’t, you know when you’re uncomfortable when others can’t see it. It’s YOU who you should rely on to make sure you’re safe. 

Drink but monitor it, have a break every now and then. Wear what you like and dance and have fun but if you’re not happy with a man’s advances don’t be shy to say so, rudely if necessary and remove yourself from the situation, stay with a friend or two. If you have taken to somebody -and in this modern age its not unacceptable – be sure you’re certain of what you’re doing and not being led by a drunken head, inform your friends of your plan. Don’t be silly, be safe. Always have money on you in case you’re left behind and need to get home. Always keep a fully charged phone on you with credit. If you get upset during the night don’t storm off and put yourself in danger, making a point, or showing off isn’t worth your life. And my most important point to make, the one I follow to the letter is easy … Don’t give into peer pressure, whether you’re sixteen or thirty, ‘pressure’ is there. Pressure to get off with some stranger, pressure to drink more than you want to, or take things you don’t want to. You know what’s fun and what’s too far and its a  different limit for everybody, so make your own mind up.

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