living young, and wilde and friedel.

by Danielle Kent

I should think that most people have heard of Mario Balotelli – because ‘isn’t he the one that went into that school to stick up for that kid?’ Personally, I think he’s great – some may say a less talented El-Hadji Diouf – but would I want him to play for my team? Obviously, because I support Leeds United (a team that thinks Noel Hunt is a good player), however, for the sake of this article I am going to take a stand and say NO to Balotelli.

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When I met Mario (claaaang), he wasn’t the man I had hoped for. He was calm, polite, vaguely disinterested in me in fact. Maybe I simply wasn’t the girl he had hoped for – don’t worry, he hadn’t hired me as an escort, mainly because I don’t work as an escort, I just think he didn’t understand a word that I said. I was left feeling disappointed; where was this crazy man that turns up at random prisons just for a look around?

It made me think that perhaps he was a fraud, a fake … nothing but a great big phoney as the ginger man from Family Guy would put it. This doesn’t just apply to Mario Balotelli – plenty of footballers are enjoying the life that comes with fame, it just isn’t for their skills on the pitch. It is the series of publicity stunts and illicit nights out that make me think that if these men put the temptations of fame aside and simply concentrated on their jobs, their career would drastically improve because of it (but the consequences would be disastrous – girls wouldn’t know who they were when they were in clubs and then how would they be able to cheat on their girlfriends?).

Ps. I don’t really think that El-Hadji Diouf is a better footballer than Mario Balotelli.

Pps. MARIO COME TO LEEDS!

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